Full Day, Full Log, Full Plant-Based Living: "Parent's Day", homeschooling while multitasking, homemade cards, & research on telomeres.
5.11.2020
Yesterday was “Parent’s Day” in House Cappello. Our road to conceiving Q was over a year and a half in the making, sliced with a work-induced miscarriage, and every month brought weeping and worries that I’d never have a cub of my own. (<—Fully understand that many folks have worked longer than that, born more lost souls, and still haven’t gotten their wish: my heart breaks right along with them.) When we found out some life had taken hold for the long haul, I was more relieved and grateful than I’d ever been in my life; and thus we commemorate that day by celebrating it yearly.
I’m not sure if the stumbling path, my own wrought childhood, or propensity for a Pollyanna perspective propelled me into this cherish-every-moment mothering; but I can say that all the long nights and the omnipresent need from another soul, has never once gotten old. I breathe it all in with deep appreciation because I knew what I was getting into (<—kids need time, focus, and love) and I wanted it with every scrap and slip of my soul.
On May 11th, we meditate on the parenting process, exchange homemade cards, and remind Q how dearly grateful and thankful we are for having him in our lives. He’s inspired the whole household to grow forward and become healthier/kinder, because Ian and I are determined to be the best examples for him. It takes continuously learning, failing, and loving in a repeat swirl, and I love it all.
Continue on for: an explanation of “Parent’s Day”, a family thriving on Plant-Based Whole Foods and Lifestyle Medicine pillars, a day’s worth of plant-based whole-food family feasting, how we handle homeschooling and organization, how/why we almost divorced last year and how we’re now more in love than ever (and healthier too, and this is after 15 years of being together), handmade love notes, and the latest research on telomeres.
What the heck are telomeres?! They “are nucleoprotein structures that serve as guardians of genome stability by ensuring protection against both cell death and senescence.” (<—one of Ian’s favorite words/topics.)
The more you get into the weeds of nutrition and genetics, the more you’ll understand that the diet healthiest for the planet is quite beautifully and simply the same diet imperative for your own health.
Live kindly, feast kindly, grow forward.
Q’s Morning Chalk Drawing inspired by Parent’s Day.
Meant for Ian’s to stand out with a mustache, but Q took one look at it and said, “but why does Papa look so sad?!” :-D (<— totally comfortable & aware of my lack of drawing skills <3 )
Q’s handcrafted plant-based kiddo breakfast: 1tb peanut butter, peaches (were frozen and then melted), apple, and one blueberry. :-D
Morning Routine / Screen Time
Q gets 30 minutes of solo screen-time each day and it has to be educational. Ian and I are usually still intermittent fasting through Q’s breakfast, so Q eats his breakfast in the living room and watches some PBS kids. We love PBS Kids because you can trust any show in their lineup to be focused on kindness and learning.
Here seen: yesterday’s breakfast and some Let’s Go Luna (<— great show following a traveling circus around the world, so you learn about geography and cultures.)
David Barber drawing for the day
Morning routine: as soon as that cub finishes breakfast he is itching to draw something spooky for David Barber (tri-generational family best friend.)
Yesterday’s? Some giant squid tale involving “Davey Jones —with the crab hand—and one of his crew. The squid is a new species with a side mouth that chomps right through wood!”
These drawings are a great way for him to release some creative energy before focusing on schoolwork.
What my 10AM breakfast looked like: blueberry oatmeal, 1 tb peanut butter, golden flax seeds, oatmilk.
While I ate this, Q set up his work station.
Homeschooling & Multitasking
Q was in Pre-K before this pandemic hit. Our district had been super proactive and our teachers had packets to send home with children immediately. They’ve been collecting them (via the doorstep) and dropping off new ones every few weeks, and it takes about 3-5 worksheets a day for Q to get the packet completed before it’s due. A bulk of these sheets are easy-breezy for him, so we added in some homemade math (addition and subtraction) ones because he’s shown a surprising love of mathematics.
While Q did his sheets, I worked on reorganizing that cabinet to hold some additional jars we purchased for dry goods. Been ordering in bulk more than we used to (because we would’ve been in the bulk section of a grocery store, and those are no longer an option) and the quantities that arrive have required some big ol’ mason jars. (More on that cabinet when I actually finish the project.)
I moved on to focus on the dining room table. If there’s a piece of paper on there it means it is a task/bill to be done, and they stay there to jangle our like-things-to-be-orderly selves so we take care of them ASAP.
The cabinet, I can finish another rainy day, but it felt good to plow through a table’s worth of to-dos and have a clean slate again. (That cluttered hope chest in the next room is covered in a Q project, that ‘ll handle tomorrow.)
Neat spaces aren’t just a visual quirk, they reduce stress levels. Think about how good you feel when you finally clean out that drawer/closet/whatever and then imagine how that feeling would be present every day if you keep it that clear.
This is something I struggled with, and was dragged toward by Ian who is naturally super organized and minimalistic. In our first years together, I was a tempest of clutter and felt as atmospheric as my waste-stream. It drove him crazy, he was vocal and direct about how I could save his sanity by pitching in toward a compromise, and we ended up in this duality of order and my mismatched, homemade-art loving self.
Speaking of art, we’re the kind of souls who fill our hutch with homemade cards. This hutch was passed down to me after my grandmother died and was my father’s childhood set.
We could have filled it with dishes, but it turned out to be the perfect spot to throw in cards we’ve made for each other and ones gifted to us by loved ones (the bottom shelf are all from others, we made the top two shelves.)
Making cards for each other was something Ian kicked off early in our dating (something I had never done), and he comes by it naturally: his mother made the two cards above and makes personalized cards for every birthday and Christmas. <3
2017 Parent’s Day Cards: a good example of our different artistic bents, but similar visions.
Ian is meticulous, well-crafted, and realistic; mine are always rough and impressionistic
2018 Parent’s Day Cards + some Q Art
Why aren’t there Parent’s Day cards for 2019? We weren’t in a positive place last May.
In our darkest relationship pit, though, this card was my attempt at a reference to a protein that was unifying us and nourishing us: the good ol’ peanut plant.
By May of 2019, I’d been vegetarian for a year and a half and Ian was still eating meat daily. I was healthier than I’d ever been, was daily proving that you could thrive without meat, and I was frustrated that Ian was not at least attempting to change. The card above (a peanut plant and the word “growth” in Braille below it) had been given to him on his birthday… when our annual camp out meal now had two different pans because even when there were ample nut and legume proteins, Ian still felt it imperative to add on an unnecessary meat.
There was a chasm growing between us, that would apex and burst around Memorial Day when he got the ultimatum of: we will be cutting meat out of this house or we will be separating. For me, the hypocrisy of Ian saying he was focused on health and environmentalism, while consuming a diet that was contrary to both those pillars, was a terrible example for the son in our care and I didn’t think it was healthy (bodily, mentally, parentally) for us to be on such different pages in the same home. I worried this was an additional terrible example for Q, and if we were going to be at such odds I felt it best we do it in separate homes as properly reflected our standings.
There was enough data to explain the environmental harms and health implications of animal products, and Ian’s choice to continue on the carnivore path was luring in Q: who would one moment bellow about the state of the oceans (animal agriculture is perpetuating the environmental damages to the ocean and all the species within), hark how much he loved animals, and then shove one down his gullet.
I was starting to deeply resent Ian, and our relationship was dissolving into a distant one.
The above was especially painful, because we had always been a couple that had grown together (we’ve been together since college —15 years now—) and this separate-path approach was ripping us apart from the inside out. Declaring the possibility of separation to someone who has been my partner-in-all-things for 15 years, who I loved and admired as a father-figure, who was also one of my bestfriends, was the hardest thing I’ve ever done…and turned out to be the best thing I ever did for the family.
Ian woke up and moved forward with us. He’d been the original one to propose health changes (cutting out refined sugar & processed foods) and there was no denying the data that plant-based whole-foods are best for health. The transition came under duress, but he’d be the first to tell you that he also feels stronger, healthier, and happier than ever before.
In fact, the whole family is healthier, and Ian & I are more in-tune/in love/connected than we’ve ever been.
You are what you eat, folks, and if you’re eating destructive, cold-hearted, saturated-fat-filled inflammatory animal products in every meal you will be what you reap.
So I set to making a Parent’s Day card the way I always do: by sorting through refuse paper and seeing what can be made of them.
Ian’s had been down at the desk awaiting me at 5AM (it was a surprise: he’d stayed up to make it the night before), so I had an inspiration in theme.
Parent’s Day Cards 2020
We’d say it to each other in front of y’all, so here seen: two folks who have been stumbling forward in love and growth since 2005.
(The weird swirls through mine were just something left on that old piece of paper and have nothing to do with the inscription.)
Wrapped up cards and drippy parent love by noon, and was thankful to have those good ol’ meal-prepped veggies ready for making a swift lunch.
Here seen: Q setting up a bowl himself.
Plant-Based Mama Bear and Cub Lunch: purple rice noodles, avocado, broccoli, mushrooms, roasted squash, bell pepper, and peanut sauce.
Plant Based Snack Ingredients: fixings for a Berry Green Smoothie. Have been digging these daily lately.
Blueberries, Strawberries, Dates, Spirulina, Oatmilk, and Peanut Butter.
Post lunch, Q worked on sculpting.
All the time tentacles! :-D
We had intentions of yardwork, but it was raining and in the low 40s, so we transitioned to a family cardio hour before dinner.
Per Lifestyle Medicine guidelines, physical activity is important for overall health as is connection with those you love.
Here seen: fast-paced cardio sessions with free weights, dancing with my cub, jumping jacks.
Not pictured: running with weights along the length of the upstairs, flies, shoulder presses, yoga, and diastasis recti exercises.
Came back downstairs full of gratitude for pre-prepped food that is quick to heat up.
Plant-Based Family Feasting: lentil loaf, roasted broccoli soup, braised carrots, mashed kholrabi, bell pepper, and avocado.
Always forget to illuminate that we eat at the table (except for treats on the weekends to watch movies while eating).
Here seen: Q pulling out Ian’s chair for him.
The study of telomeres is one of those rabbit -holes Ian has been in for awhile and was new to my brain space. Cosmically, the longevity of your genes is controlled/bettered by your diet.
Read below for some new learning via Undo It by Dr. Dean Ornish and Anne Ornish.
Want more on telomeres? (I’d explain more, but a late breakfast, yardwork, and sunlight are calling).
Here’s some fun continued learning:
“Associations between diet, lifestyle factors, and telomere length in women”
“Telomeres, the Key to Longevity, Show Food May Be the Best Anti-Aging Treatment”
“Physical Activity and Nutrition: Two Promising Strategies for Telomere Maintenance?”
Listen to this great podcast interview with David Sinclair.
